In this article, you will learn:
- How to be a good dad after a divorce
So obviously, good dad’s going to spend time with their kids, and they’re going to spend as much as possible. But it has to be good quality time that you’re present in. You’re not really spending time with your kid if they are with you, in your physical custody and control, but you’re on the phone the whole time or you’re playing videogames the whole time. It doesn’t matter how much low-quality time you spend with them, and bad dad doesn’t realize that; in fact, too much low-quality time will probably make your kid not want to spend time with you at all. Bad dad doesn’t get that time alone is not the factor; the time has to be quality time where you are present and engaged with and involved in your kid’s life, and part of that is activities. Your kid probably has something they enjoy and good dad recognizes that it’s something that their kid enjoys even if it is not something that they (personally) enjoy. Bad dad doesn’t care.
If not handled correctly, this can very quickly lead to estrangement. So, a good dad spends that time, and they’re going to make that time count. It may not be as much time as mom, but if it’s good quality time that they’re involved in, that they’re caring about what their kid’s doing, that they’re interacting with their kid, that time is worth it.
How A Good Dad Versus A Bad Dad Handles Having To Change Plans Or Cancel Plans With Their Children
Obviously, good dad avoids it as much as possible, whereas bad dad just lets it happen and deals with the consequences after. But part of it also is communication. Kids, hopefully, when you’re on a parenting plan, get a routine and expect time with you, and so if that routine’s going to change, that upsets things a bit, but good dad is communicative with them about it. He tells the kid “Look, this is what’s happening. I have to stay at work because this thing’s happening. I know it sucks, I’m going to make it up to you, here’s how I’m going to make it up to you” and they follow through on it. Whereas bad dad is all empty promises.
Another important part of this is good dad should be co-parenting with mom so that when something comes up, they have a good amicable relationship and can cover for each other, because it’s not just dad who’s going to have problems, it’s going to be mom too. If they have a good, amicable relationship, then when these things happen, it’s going to be as smooth as possible for the kid because the parents are going to work together to make up for life’s little emergencies. They’ll be flexible with each other, give each other make-up time without having to go to court about it, etc. Whereas bad dad is going to have a bad relationship with mom, and mom’s not going to be flexible about it, and mom’s eventually going to use it against them in court.
Creating A Special Space Or Comfortable Living Environment For Your Children Even If They’re Not With You Full Time
Good dad’s going to think about what his kid needs: do they have their own room, do they have a bed, do they have clothes, do they have toys, do they have things so that when they’re with me, they feel as comfortable as possible? Good dad’s going to take steps to make that happen because you want to be able to show that you have all the tools you need to parent your kid and to care for them at a most basic level. If you don’t have a good environment for your kid, they’re not going to want to spend time with you, and the court may get to a point where it starts to wonder if you are capable of providing for them. Especially in contentious cases, homes are sometimes scrutinized by third parties like court-appointed advisors.
If they go to your house and your house is dirty, your fridge is full of rotten food, and you don’t have a place for your kid to sleep, the court’s going to find out about that, and you’re going to have a bad day. But if they go to your house and you’ve got your kid’s room and all their stuff there set up and ready to go, and they could just seamlessly transition into your house, the court’s going to hear about that too, and they’re going to hear about it in a much more positive way. If you wouldn’t be comfortable showing pictures of the environment you have set up for your kid to the judge, that’s probably a good sign that you should do some work on that, and give your kid a better living space.
For more information Family Law in Arizona, a free initial consultation is your next best step. Get the information and legal answers you are seeking by calling (623) 666-6871 today.
